Let Our Enemies Beware

Work

2009-12-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

Staring at my pen, I wonder:
"How much it would take to push
that cunting thing
through my eye?"
Would that end the relentless grind?
Or would a do-gooding paramedic
bring me back to be tortured
but this time with only one eye?

Why...

2009-11-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

...has the font changed? Fuck's sake...

I'm getting brave...

2009-11-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

Below are the first draught of shoddy lyrics for 'Gay Horse'. No one reads this shit, so I'm not too bothered putting it up here. At least, if I do this, I won't lose them like I did with the ones for 'Thunderbolt Pier'.

To clarify: Gay = Happy. I'm no homophobe, I don't even own an iPod.

GAY HORSE

They call me the 'Butcher', man.
I study struggling life.
I move through the structures,
I hide between the lines.

What is there left to say
As fingers invade your spine?
Your hot-breath crippled neck
Buckles under mine.

Who wants to ride the gay horse?
Show me the colours you breathe,
Show me the traces you leave.
Show me the colours,
Show me the way.

Eyes locked in strange orbits.
Cage-made accusing stares.
Your cuts seem to open up
and I'm swallowed by the tears.

I'm black and blue.
You want me to serve you?
I'm gagged and bound.
You want me to love you?

Endless days,
over again.

You want me to serve you?
I'm gagged and bound.
You want me to love you.

Endless days,
over again.
Trapped inside
your diseased mind.

Okay... you can stop laughing now, you miserable pukes.

- Sha

I'm a lazy shite...

2009-10-23T09:29:00.001-07:00

...so lazy. I'll get back on it one day.

- sha

To Friend's and Well-Wishers...

2009-09-30T11:35:00.000-07:00

Peons: Let me make fuck in your ears, yes?

A belateded and empathtic

THANK YOU

to all who came to support us,
to our unwaveringly loyal, drug-fuelled friends and
to those of you who will surely be future friends.
You made our night and gave us the best gig of our
miserable lives (bar any ropey singing).

We love you, scummers.

DO NOT LISTEN

2009-09-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

THIS is our blogcast. There are many like it, but this one is ours.

Turn It Down or Fuck Off

2009-08-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Banned from the Beacon Court for having balls. Read all about it:

Fat Landlord pushes his way on stage and lays hands on my guitar.
Lil B's heckles stand on end.
Fat Landlord shouts abuse along the lines of: "You've cleared the other fucking bar!"
Fat Landlord misses the point.
Lil B gets in Fat Landlord's pudgy face and generally saves my arse from being inserted forcefully into my astonished mouth.
Fat Landlord shouts further abuse about how we only brought two people.
Fat Landlord neglects the other ten.
Fat Landlord screams "Turn it Down or Fuck off!"
Boast retorts "We'll fuck off then."
Lil B launches mic stand at Fat Landlord like a GREEK GOD.
Lil B is gently ejected from the premises.
I whisper to my comrades "We're still getting paid."
We get paid.

Two great gigs in one weekend - Awesomesauce.

Knebworth

2009-08-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

Grenfell (of Ergon fame) dished via his lovely contact all his mates VIP tickets for a nominal donation. Knebworth is a beautiful day out with your friend's but the music ain't worth knob.

- sha

DOWNLOAD OUR ALBUM FOR FREE!

2009-07-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Our album is FREE to download from here at some point today. The Catch? It's the last of of our Fibonacci-inspired giveaways... which means only one lucky scum-filter can get their grubby little shiz-niks on it! MOO HA HA - WE LOVE MESSING WITH YOUR MINDS!!!

- Sha

Stuff

2009-07-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

So... tired... must... write... blog...!

Gig tomorrow at 333 Basement in Shoreditch. Frighteningly, we will be a man down due to unforeseen circumstances. Come along and offer support or, more interestingly, come and see if we crash and burn.

Artwork - Proofed!

Masters - Proofed!

Things are coming together... See you tomorrow?

- sha

Blog-Cast Update:

2009-07-06T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, Wet-lings.

Our blog-cast is complete. Keep your beady eyes on here for it's apperance.

For your existential amusement a quote from the 'Big Neetch' (Nietzche):

"It is certain that knowledge of [the existence of a metaphysical dimension] would be the most useless of all knowledge; more useless even than knowledge of the chemical composition of water must be to a drowning sailor."

Pretentious - us?

- Sha

Who Wants To Ride The Gay Horse?

2009-07-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Right - it's time for some musical Delia Smithery, my young muggle-wumps.

1) Take Sonic Youth and ze Oxes.

2) Make them have a violent and bloody orgy.

3) Sprinkle a pinch of Latin Funk.

4) Let it come to the boil and then strain the Latin Funk.

5) Add some Deftones-esque down tuned riffery. Four slices will be sufficient.

6) Finish off with a huge bloody great slice of creamed Shoe-Gazing/Death Metal-esque noisery (Let's call it Death-Gazing or Shoe-Metal or something equally pointless).

In the words of Elzar: "BAM!" You got yourself a new LOEB song and I have no idea how it gets from the opening to the end without making me think we did another butcher/Frankenstein cut job.

Oddness.

Been lazy...

2009-06-22T12:30:00.000-07:00

So...

Been a while, my piggy little friends. Here is the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I shan't spoil the suprise:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h55PXmpSHxg

- Sha

Stream of Conciousness-Style Catch-Up

2009-05-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

I can't be arsed to mess around here... got a gig at the Beacon Court (Gillingham) tonight... my bones have dried to a fine, easily snortable powder... my eyes ache blood... Saw Melt Banana sound-check courtesy of Chris and his erstwhile Ergon pals... that was last Wednesday... met the lovely Creely, Charlotte and Jack... that was Thursday morning... EARLY Thursday morning... they were unbelievably sound... almost finished 'Kid Twist'... vocals - as usual - require polishing and placing... got a newer song, too... called either 'The Butcher' or 'Who Wants to Ride the Gay Horse'... last rehearsal was dark.... very much a slump from previous ones... we are a ship in a storm, begging the Old Man of the Sea for a break... I need sleep... precious, precious sleep.

No mention of music…

2009-05-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

…So I’d skip this one, if I were you.

I have built myself a bear-trap. It has a double long spring design. It is 42 inches long and it packs just the right amount of punch to bite into the bone but, most importantly, not through it.

It is the two rows of terrible stainless-steel teeth that do that.

I built this monstrous trap myself from the words I used in a conversation that I had a long way from home. Names will not be mentioned but, suffice it say, I have promised to read a book that has turned out to be the literary equivalent of quicksand and it must be read.

A test will follow, he said.

It is by no means a difficult book, nor is its subject matter uninteresting. It is just so very poorly written and has become very boring very quickly. It’s just an inky blur of names and dates that make as much sense to me as a gun in a playground. Worse still, the book itself appears to be getting longer the more I read and I can't think of a way to stop it. I’ve even started looking at other people’s books covetously as I prise apart the weighty jaws of my own.

So, I have built myself a little trap - like we all do for ourselves daily - partly to “Do the Right Thing”; partly to (like electricity) take the path of least resistance. I follow that breadcrumb trail and it leads, inevitably, to those angry biting teeth - each one an off-hand promise and each one that cuts deep enough to stick. Worst of all, like all the best traps, you never see it until it’s too late.

- sha

Last Thursday

2009-05-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

The only advice we were given before going into Earl's was this: "If you get glassed, hold your face together because doctor's are notoriously bad at jig-saw puzzles." We didn't need it, of course. The atmosphere was welcoming, the headliners Crow were gentlemen and the landlord was every shade of awesomeness.

Nice one, Clive!

- sha

Rehearsal

2009-05-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Good gravy - we've nearly finished 'Kid Twist'. Having the band spending two rehearsals scouring over all the minutiae of drum patterns with Chris (AKA Monster Work-Horse) paid off massively and the whole thing seemed to slot into place. Smells like victory, gentlemen.

- sha

Rehearsal

2009-04-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

More good work. Progress on 'Kid Twist' is steady and, miraculously we don't hate it after two rehearsals meaning it has passed under the withering gaze of the dreaded 'Shit Filter'... for now. Our writing process is as artful as a brick through a car window. It is brutal; it is bloody and I wouldn't have it any other way.

- sha

Chatham isn't a town...

2009-04-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

...it's a situation.

- sha

Today at work...

2009-04-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

...I wanted to dash my brains out on the corner of the table. Monotony is punishing.

- sha

Doing the Lord's Work

2009-04-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

- sha

Rehearsal

2009-04-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Just got in from rehearsal. New track is tentatively called 'Kid Twist' after a role Peter Falk played early in his career (Boast having recently buried his eyes - and maybe part of his soul - in the Falk autobiography/biography/whatever). It's an angular beast with many odd yet satisfying sections. At this early stage, however, it's still malformed; much like a Picasso inspired foetus.

I'm talking about the song; not the biography, shit-head.

As far as this 'blogging' lark is going: I feel like the crazy guy you see walking around drunk and aimless at four in morning; swiping at invisible insects and mumbling to himself incoherently.

- sha

Inane Thought #1

2009-04-21T09:33:00.001-07:00

Anyone ever read 'What the Dead Men Say' by Philip K Dick? Look here if not.

Now:

Turn on your TV; look at all the magazines; open your news periodicals and - in good conscience - tell me that Jade Goody hasn't gone all Louis Serapis on our arses.

- sha

Good Evening

2009-04-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

This post will be seen by few/stop/spare it a thought/stop/place should look splendid soon/stop/then you'll wish we would/stop

- sha